I have this utter craving to be remembered, whether it be after death or by the people I meet in every day life. I don't know why, but it seems like a personal affront to me when people don't remember me. If people begin to forget what I have done for them or the times we had shared, good and bad I seem to become depressed and feel a need to make them remember.

Do other people have this impulse to make others remember them? Maybe I'm just crazy, but that's something that I cannot stop thinking about lately.

There's also this other little problem. I have this friend, who's ex said she loves him and all that jazz... then turns around and decides to stop talking to him. What is there he could do? He can't make her want to talk to him. It seems an predicament in which he cannot win. Should he try anyways? Or should he continue and go on? A confusing dilemma to which an answer seems very far away.

Another point to make, Grade 12 sucks fucking nuts. I'm a week in and I have absolutely nothing done. Not because I'm lazy, or because I don't want to work. But I have no inspiration. Every time I try to write something or do questions I ask myself, 'Is it worth it?' And the answer is always no. I don't know why, but there is nothing that can motivate me to do my work. Or I draw a blank and have no idea what to write. The latter is what seems to happen to me the most. It's a sad little business.

And in other news, I am officially quitting the plant that is called marijuana. I have neither the time or patience to do it anymore. Though it will be hard... the whole mental addiction to being high will be tricky. Hope I can pull 'er off. If I can't I'm gonna look like a douche if anyone finds out.

I just tried to write a poem and failed utterly. Maybe when I am sober I will update. Till then, I suppose you will have to wait. Hah, I do not envy you. Or feel bad for you, because no one reads this damn thing anyways.