Fuck you.

That's right. I said it. Fuck you. I hate all of you. I'm up at 6 am, and it's your fucking fault. Not that you would even care if you smart enough realize.

You know what sucks balls? When you can't stand your own family. And I don't mean temporarily. I hate my dad, for always yelling when it's not needed. For over exaggerating everything, for constantly making me lower my own eyes because I'm not good enough for him. I hate my mom for being an alcoholic, and then blaming all of lifes problems on my dad. I envy my brother, he got away from this shit. I don't blame him for never wanting to talk to us.

You know what else annoys the fuck out of me? When people don't seem to realize they're being stuck up. Or when they don't realize they're completely ignoring someone. I was suppose to hang out with a special someone yesterday. Well, 2 days ago now. Ended up getting ignored the entire day. Was suppose to hang out with her yesterday. Didn't even show up till a half hour before I had to go get ready for hockey, and by that time had said a total of zero words to me. She walked in the door, and sat on the couch with her best friend. She does it all too often. Sometimes I wonder if it's even worth confronting her about, because it's not going to change anything.

I can't help but think vindictively. I just want to do the same to her. But I can't even get that chance.


Ah,the 31st today. 3 months exactly, I wonder if she says anything. I remember, does she even care?

Anyways, enough of this bullshit. I'm pissed off at more than that. I'm pissed off because exam week went by, and I fucked those up royally. Possibly my entire future in the process. In hockey I try as hard as I can, and it's still not enough to even get a comment like 'good job'. I'm fucking sick of it. I just want to choke myself in the almighty mary jane, and drown myself in my best friend jack daniels.

some people say all it takes is a cry out for help. I've tried that. no one gives a fuck anymore. no one should.